I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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