If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hippo gnu deer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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