Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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