We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
