I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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