a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
