she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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