im about as happy as oj after his trial
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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