JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
