I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
