This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
