i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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