i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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