$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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