if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize