plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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