so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
