i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
