please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
