and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
