My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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