I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
