I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
