I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
