She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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