yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
