8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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