champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
