It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
