My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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