White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
