So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
