hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
