Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
