Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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