I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.