I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
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Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.