Is it normal to miss your booty call?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.