Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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