I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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