I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
