she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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