I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
