I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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