Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
