Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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