went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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