i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
