We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
