Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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