we made out on top of his cat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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