is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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