Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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