i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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