this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
