i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
