i think my mom watched the whole time
she smelled like a LAN party
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
