He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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