Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake. http://tfl.nu/8hx0
  Replies (17) Good night (1211) Bad night (3871)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is... (301): Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better http://tfl.nu/emnn
  Replies (14) Good night (3955) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do. http://tfl.nu/8y8e
  Replies (75) Good night (14306) Bad night (1961)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4182) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1514) Bad night (5022)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (4097) Bad night (2298)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  ... that would be easier though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+45): The world isn't going to end because you slept with him! (+45): ... that would be easier though. http://tfl.nu/hysm
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am http://tfl.nu/badm
  Replies (4) Good night (1719) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6
  Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing. http://tfl.nu/p5zs
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon. http://tfl.nu/kbkd
  Replies (8) Good night (1185) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out http://tfl.nu/pkwm
  Replies (3) Good night (1366) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it. http://tfl.nu/tr7o
  Replies (0) Good night (960) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face http://tfl.nu/xc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew http://tfl.nu/lady
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (325)

Randomize