I'm jealous of your bromance
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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