Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  You hurt me so bad and it feels so good

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  (424): You hurt me so bad and it feels so good http://tfl.nu/hvpg
  Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (782)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

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  (210): Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys http://tfl.nu/9bus
  Replies (7) Good night (719) Bad night (1174)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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  (410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr
  Replies (17) Good night (1407) Bad night (5882)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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  (732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5
  Replies (18) Good night (6657) Bad night (1309)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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  (207): she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait. http://tfl.nu/lngn
  Replies (10) Good night (1528) Bad night (3372)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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  (305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35
  Replies (9) Good night (5386) Bad night (1062)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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  (304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha
  Replies (8) Good night (3670) Bad night (1426)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.

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  (443): Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now. http://tfl.nu/3e9p
  Replies (6) Good night (2248) Bad night (792)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
  Replies (6) Good night (2989) Bad night (799)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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  (202): No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park http://tfl.nu/eb3c
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.

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  (605): but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair. http://tfl.nu/hd3s
  Replies (4) Good night (1630) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.

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  (812): I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon. http://tfl.nu/la4i
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs

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  (908): If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs http://tfl.nu/w28c
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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  (813): Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg http://tfl.nu/yllz
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (207)

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