Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy