conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.