i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager