If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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