that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
