the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize