whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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