so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How's work?
Spinning.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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