We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
