he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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